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May. 14th, 2007

butters

Goodbye to Blogville

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

Have I mentioned how much I love Diesel Sweeties?

And that I hate blogging?

Yup… the time to kill my blog has come again. Soon this will be something else. Something non-blog. Sorry Jennifer, but I can’t allow you to take over this blog. One call from the F.B.I. was enough…

Dec. 25th, 2006

butters

More stuff on Christmas

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

First, a greeting from Mr. Peter Griffin:

Secondly, a somewhat NSFW greeting from Ms. Bettie Page

Read the rest of this entry »Collapse )

Oct. 21st, 2006

butters

Who was Man Booker anyway?

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

It should go without saying that any book that prides itself on winning a prestigious award is most likely poor in quality. I’m sure the publisher is looking for that demographic of buyers who put their faith in faceless entities who judge books based on subjective merits, but I’ve been burned recently and not by choice.

I keep telling myself Hard-Boiled Wonderland is the next book we read! Hard-Boiled Wonderland is the next book we read! But first we have to make it through John Banville’s The Sea.

First off, The Sea is only about 190 pages long, but it feels a helluva lot longer. I’ve only read 30 pages and it feels like 300. A very slow moving piece with an unreliable narrator who bounces back and forth between childhood and his current situation. Usually paragraph to paragraph. Those people who whine that my fiction prose is hard to follow should be forced to read this book. In my place.

But to keep this post from becoming too negative, I believe everybody should read Mikhail Bulgakov’s The Heart of a Dog. It’s a very funny and witty piece of fiction that sort of reminded me of Kafka and Palahniuk. Don’t worry about the social satire business, it’s subtile enough that it doesn’t matter. This guy is far more talented than that gobshite who wrote The Jungle.

Oct. 13th, 2006

butters

A few small bits of info

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

I found this great video on YouTube the other night. I’m a huge fan of Superchunk, but I’ve not heard Portastatic before (heard of them, though).

Here is the band’s great tribute to Talking Heads “Once In A Lifetime” video, and a damn great song, if I do say so myself:

Here is the original, just in case you’ve not seen it before:

I’ve been on a Talking Heads kick lately.

Lastly, my favorite lyrics by Royal Trux, from their song “Map of the City”

She had a face like a cook
I’d seen in the kitchen of the Anchor Hotel
See her in the city virgin
She’s friendly and you know her well
A thousand-odd broken stallions
Still very quick on the beat
Full-size, the buffet begs before them All you can eat

I’m drawing up a plan for the city
Filled with ten thousand crooked stairs
Some lead up to heaven
Some look through you like you’re not even there

Could it be that I’ll see her
When I cut across the park
Walking along with her hound?
When I look at myself in the shower
I wonder if she’ll see what I see
And will she like what she has found
I rolled out from under the engine
And I saw her standing there
I knew right then that I could love her forever
Even when her breasts are rotted with cancer

I wonder where she went when she said go
A sailor has to masturbate until the ship lands
A lot of things happen out on the open sea
I’m gonna sell Arizona to Japan

I’m drawing up a plan for the city
Filled with ten thousand crooked stares
Some lead up to heaven
Some look through you like you’re not even there

The bit I bolded will be a part of my wedding vows. Now… the trick is to find a woman who finds such a statement romantic. “She is out there, Charlie Brown!”

That’s all for this month, folks! ;)

Tags: ,

Sep. 3rd, 2006

butters

Long time no update

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

I’ve found that as my writer’s block grows, so does my misanthropy.

The bad thing about majoring in English is the workload. You have to read a lot of shitty books (I’m currently reading To The (sodding bloody) Lighthouse) and I have to write papers on them. Papers that might be shitty, but not nearly as shitty as the book upon which they are based.

Even worse is my poetry class. The poetry book wasn’t bad, but there was nothing there to really rip into. Whereas last week I tore Langston Hughes a new one over his laughable poem “Another S in the USA.” Poets and authors need to say stupid things so I can rip them apart.

Sadly, the teacher doesn’t like this tactic. For she is a radical. That, and her blessed pet is back for another class this semester. As long as this pet is writing papers, the bar is set impossibly high. Of course, I could always kiss ass, but I’d sooner die.

I might be a failure, but at least I’m not like either of them.

Yeah, I’m bitter.

Aug. 11th, 2006

butters

Finally, a Las Almejas update!

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

The release of “22 Uses For A Severed Head” has been delayed by a month, but fear not, for the band is releasing a stop-gap EP entitled “The Only Man To Ever Love Jennifer For Her Personality.

The title track will be on the upcoming album, but to entice collectors and fans, this e.p. contains four exclusive songs.

This is a (small version) of the album cover:

"The Only Man To Ever Love Jennifer For Her Personality" e.p. cover

The track listing is as follows:

  1. The Only Man To Love…
  2. Cancer Is Funny
  3. Fetch the Coat Hanger
  4. All Hail The Great Anti-Feminist Warriors Of UTEP
  5. I Ate Your Mother Out Last Night

The title track deals with the tragic death of an emo boy Jennifer went out with last summer. The total run time is 6:34 and should be in stores Tuesday the 22nd.

Aug. 9th, 2006

butters

New textbook time

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

It’s that time of year every thrifty college student dreads. Time to buy new text books. Well, I have a few good things to report, and a few bad.

First, the good: No Adrienne Rich! I was fearing my Contemporary Poets teacher would surely pick her, since she made us read an idiotic Rich essay in Lit Crit, but I was wrong! I have no clue who the Hell these other people are, but at least they’re not Adrienne Rich.

Another good one, we’re going to read “Hard-Boiled Wonderland and The End of the World” by Haruki Murakami in “The World Novel” Tres cool!

The bad: I have to read ten books in that class! Ten books! What the fuck? “Has the whole world gone fucking crazy?” (to be read in the voice of Walter in The Big Lebowski).

It should be interesting and tiring. Other than Elie Weisel’s “Night” and Gabriel Garcia Marquez’s “100 Years of Solitude,” I’ve not heard of any of these books. So at least I’ll be exposed to new authors.

And no fuckin’ Adrienne Rich!

Aug. 7th, 2006

lenore

yeah

woot! I'm sort of back, I think. I might crosspost to here from my regular blog.

So, what did I miss?

Jul. 26th, 2006

butters

Fun with stats

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

Well, I finally found out how I view my web stats. Dream Host has a somewhat more vague set up than previous hosts, but now that I’ve found them, I think I shall check in more often.

First off, most of my visitors, by a very large margin, are of the bot variety. Eight years ago, when I had my first geocities web page, I loved the idea of “web crawling bots.” I could literally picture a small robot crawling over different web pages, recording the information found within (said jokingly). Now I think they’re “meh.”

However, it seems I’m getting good Google rankings. A few people (probably myself doing a meta search) found my blog through “lasalmejas.”

More humorously, somebody found this page through the search “the modern pinup and the objectification of women.” A title that sounds like an awful essay from a women’s studies course. Or that of a blogger who read such an essay and took it seriously.

Obviously the hit came back to this post, which is sadly no longer on the front page. I get the feeling the person who clicked this page did not like what they saw. The misanthropic side of me hopes I ruined somebody’s day.

As for you, dear faithful reader, here is your daily moment of zen:

Or moment of cardiac arrest, if you entered the above search string in Google.

keywords: , , ,

Jul. 7th, 2006

butters

Welcome back Fiona

Originally published at las almejas -- straight outta el paso. You can comment here or there.

After a few years away, the band welcomes back Fiona to the fold. Well, actually, she forced her way back into their lives, much like that crazy stalker that somehow manages to be everywhere you are, “just by accident.” She will be on keyboards and 2nd bass, but don’t worry, Las Almejas isn’t turning into a synth band anytime soon.

Jen’s jaw is healing nicely and in a few more weeks she should be able to cut her vocals, though her sister, Lynn, has sang on more than half the album this time just to encourage her recovery along. Whether or not those vocal tracks will be dumped when Jen can record or not is still unknown.

“22 Uses For A Severed Head” is still due out in late August despite recording delays.

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